House Rules

The book I bought Matt for Father's Day, and then thoughtlessly left in the hotel room for him to pack, is called Geek Dad (by the editor of the Wired blog of the same name).

I have, uh, occasionally before, well, been guilty of that greatest crime among bibliophile families, too horrendous to name without hysterical laughter -- oh, ok, I quite often buy Matt books and then read them before he gets around to them. This time, though, I was better -- I only skimmed a small part of the book. The part on how to make your kid's chores into an RPG!

I didn't like the book's version, but I thought the idea was great. Thomas is a sucker for games. And don't think I'm taking advantage of Thomas's tender age and gullibility. He totally knows this is a scam to get him to do his chores, but he does it anyway because they're more fun this way, and it concretizes (in points) the idea that we keep telling him, that if he keeps doing these things and practicing, they get easier to do (but perhaps not less boring).

I made the thing up two weeks ago (according to Google Docs, which knows all). Today Thomas put his dishes away after every meal, took the dirty sheets off the bed, and put away all his clean clothes by himself, which is pretty much a miracle around here. He got tired about halfway through the laundry, but was just starting to ask for help when he said, "I know! I'll put away all the pajamas first, then all the shirts..." He was so excited to have a strategy for how to finish. (Big projects tend to overwhelm him.) And I don't have to beg and plead any more: I just say, "Of course I can help you, but then you won't get your XP, since you won't have practiced doing it by yourself."

He's got lots of in-game rewards, the simplest of which is getting to roll a die every time he completes a quest. Rolling a die is fun! He gets an out-of-game reward every other level, half of which are just going out to dinner. And he has a small chance of getting a treasure when he rolls the die, and treasures can be collected and traded in at level-up time for real rewards. (So far he hasn't collected enough of anything to get a real reward; the odds are relatively low.) Right now one of the best motivators is knowing that every time he goes up a level, he gets to level up his character and he gets two new quests. And that's the great thing about RPGs: getting new tasks to do is the fun part!

RPGs are very educational, right? The name of the game is "House Rules".

Thomas's character sheet. He picked his character's name:

Laentz Lopt, level 5
Race: Dragon
Class: Chef (gets 1 xp bonus for every quest in the kitchen)

• Strength 2

• Constitution 3

• Dexterity 2

• Intelligence 4

• Wisdom 3

• Charisma 3

Skills:
Laundry rank 1 Outdoors rank 2

Kitchen rank 2 General skills rank 2
Bedroom rank 2 Playroom rank 1

Quests:
Outdoors

• "Monday Madness!" Take out the small recyclables bin on Monday night after dinner (3 xp)

• Requires 2 Int, 2 Wis

• Roll D20; on 10 or less, collect 1 Reusable Gold Bottle

• "Bathe the Roots!" Use the watering can or hose to water all the garden plants [once per day] (3 xp)

• Requires Outdoors 2, 3 Wis

• Roll D20; on 10 or less, collect 1 Medicinal Herb

Bathroom

• Mop the floor (2 xp)

• Requires General skills 2

• Roll D20; if 10 or less, collect 1 Magical Mop

Bedroom

• "Find the Floor!" Floor is clean - no books, toys, or clothes on floor (3 xp)

• Roll D20; on 1, collect 1 Arcane Scroll

• Put away 1 laundry basket of clean laundry into the right drawers (2 xp)

• Requires 2 Dex, 3 Int

• Roll D20; on 1, collect 1 Stray Sock

• Strip bed (3 xp)

• Requires Bedroom 1, General skills 2, Strength 2

• Roll D20; if 5 or less, collect 1 Stray Sock

• "Librarian quest" Sort books on floor into hardcovers, paperbacks, board books, readers, and chapter books. Put on the right shelves. (2 xp)

• Requires Bedroom 2, 4 Int, 3 Con

• Roll D20; if 5 or less, collect 1 Arcane Scroll

Laundry

• Push wet laundry into dryer (1 xp)

• Requires Laundry 1

• Roll D20; on 1, collect 1 Stray Sock

Kitchen

• Wipe down the table after a meal (1 xp)

• Put plate, cup, utensil into dishwasher (1 xp)

• Requires Kitchen 1

• Roll D20; if 5 or less, collect 1 Mystical Kiss

• Mop the floor (3 xp)

• Requires General skills 1

• Roll D20; if 10 or less, collect 1 Magical Mop

• Wipe the counter (2 xp)

• Requires Kitchen 2, General 2, 2 Dex

• Roll D20; if 10 or less, collect 1 Magical Mop

Playroom

• Put away toys (2 xp)

• Stay on task whole time! (3 xp bonus)

• Requires Playroom 1, Constitution 2, Charisma 3

• Roll D20; if 5 or less, collect 1 Arcane Scroll

Treasures:
XP: 47 +
Arcane Scrolls: 2
Stray Socks:
Mystical Kisses:
Magical Mops: 2
Reusable Gold Bottles:
Medicinal Herbs:

Prizes:
65 xp: Advance to level 6 (New dinner set!)
3 Arcane Scrolls: Choose 1 new book at bookstore
4 Stray Socks: 1 new shirt
1 Mystical Kiss: 1 chocolate chip
3 Magical Mops: 1 child-size broom and mop
1 Reusable Gold Bottle: 1 home-squeezed lemonade
4 Medicinal Herbs: plant for Thomas's room

Level rewards:
2: D20
4: Space Aliens trip
6: Kid's dinner set (you choose!)
8: Space Aliens trip
10: Stuffed character toy
12: Space Aliens trip
14: $5
16: Space Aliens trip
18: Candy making set
20: New board game or RPG!

"Real symbol and the Sacred Heart of Jesus," at PrayTell

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/06/11/real-symbol-and-the-sacred-heart-of-jesus/

Book review on Half the Sky, at PrayTell

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/06/09/summer-what-were-reading-wednesday/

"A wedding custom of the Indian Thomas Christians," at PrayTell

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/05/26/a-wedding-custom-of-the-indian-thomas-christians/

Eucharistic thoughts, at three on PrayTell

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/05/02/eucharistic-thoughts-at-three/

For those who enjoy my son's precocious musings.

Thomas and Julie playing together

This is the cutest thing I've ever seen that's on youtube, but astoundingly, it's probably not the cutest thing I've seen this week.

Felicitous diction 1: No, It's Not Going to Start With Jane Austen.

Now that I'm (snicker) a professional blogger, I need some more blogging discipline. And since the audience here is way more homey and less critical, I think I'll warm up my blogging discipline at the expense of my friends. And since it's hard to justify blogging about my academic obsession here (since I'm obliged to it there), I decided to do something off-the-cuff.

Hence, a new (daily? it could be daily! we'll have to see!) series: Things I Like To Read. See that carefully crafted thematic territory? You don't? Well, I said off the cuff.

Part 1 of the series will focus on one of my pets about literature: felicitous diction. I go crazy for felicitous diction.

The funny thing about really spine-tingling word choice, for me, is that I sometimes don't notice a writer has it until the second, third, or fifth time through a novel. But if it's there, I usually notice it in spades once I get past the third reading. I'm probably going to concentrate on one book at a time here, just introducing a representative example and explaining why it is, to my ears, felicitous diction. At the end I'll explain why felicitous diction is so key to my literary appetite.

1.1: No, It's Not Going to Start With Jane Austen. (But Yes, It Will Probably End There.)

Why not Jane Austen? Well, because it's fitting (for Deep Thematic Reasons that are totally half-baked at this time, and perhaps even because it's off-the-cuff) to start with felicitous diction in some of the earliest books I remember reading. Yes, children's literature.

I actually didn't have as many memories of picture books as some other people I know, before I had my own kids. I'm certain I could count on one hand the books I really remembered something of (and yes, that counts Dr. Seuss). The two that have memorable, felicitous diction are not, as one might expect, catchy poetry. They are poetic, but not poetry.

The Poky Little Puppy. The funny thing about this choice is it's hardly anything but felicitous diction, from "Five little puppies dug a hole under a fence and went for a walk in the wide, wide world" all the way to "No desserts EVER unless puppies NEVER dig holes under this fence again!" For me, at least at age 3 or 4, it was not the story (such as it was) that kept this treasure going (and I wore it out). No, it was that one line:

And down they went to see, roly-poly, pell-mell, tumble-bumble, till they came to the green grass, and there they stopped short.

Why (in retrospect) was this felicitous diction? Well, it has alliteration and assonance in spades, complete with some complex alliteration in the repetition of p- and b- sounds. It had enough familiar words to clue me in to the meaning ("roly", "tumble") but one completely opaque set ("pell-mell"). And the rhythm of it sounded like overeager puppies bouncing down a hill: beginning with liquids and a little bump, continuing with the short abrupt bouncing of "pell-mell", and finishing with a fully satisfying "tumble-bumble".

I actually remembered this phrase at 27 and bought my son the book anticipating reading him that exact phrase. It never disappoints.

Pray Tell: Mandatum novum

Mandatum novum: Holy Thursday at St Augustine's Church in Gainesville, Florida

In which I reminisce and reflect pretty much at random.

One moment

Sharing with someone from another culture can make you see things in a new way. We had Japanese exchange students staying with us this weekend. They were wonderful and we had a great time together -- it's hard to believe that Friday I didn't know either of them.

Today, at the park, watching Julie play in the sand, I tried to explain to them why Matt kept looking at his cell phone. "The health care bill," I began, "they're voting on it today."

"Uh?"

I looked to Matt for help. "In Japan, you have, uh, universal health care, yes? Everyone can get health care, no matter whether you can pay for it or not?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Well, we don't have that here in America. Some people here don't have health insurance, and they can't afford some kinds of medical care."

Gasps. "Ohh! Really?"

"They -- our Congress? -- they are voting on it today. They say, 'yes, health care!' or 'no, no health care!'"

"Everyone? Everyone votes?"

"No, no, Congress. We vote for them, and then they vote for everyone."

"Oh." They look thoughtful. They look over at Matt, who's now following the dog across the park. The conversation drifts, and I think about how big the world can be.

One new

Fun
Originally uploaded by kim belcher

Juliana's birthday party, which we had at Mongo's Grill in St Cloud, was a blast. I didn't do much planning ahead this time -- I didn't even make reservations -- but everyone had a great time, the food was excellent, and things were very low key. (Just right for my girl.)

Julie loved having a party, especially getting a bunch of attention from a lot of her little friends (see the other pictures on Flickr). I made the cake: a polar bear wearing a dress to match Julie's (which I found at Once Upon a Child). Thomas picked out some clothes to match it too! He made her a photo mat which I'm planning to fill with this photo. Maybe I'll take a picture once I have it printed and mounted and post that here too.

One old

I was looking at some older pictures today and was suddenly struck by this one, from July, because Paci's expression, attitude, and posture here are almost exactly like the very first time I saw her, in the humane society. I think she was sitting, not lying ready to spring up like that, but the combination of intelligence and readiness really struck me. She really looked at me just like this, like we knew each other. Look at those eyes and ears. You know you would have taken her home too.

"A hunger for the fast" at PrayTell

A brief reflection on the Ash Wednesday mass I attended this evening:

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/02/18/a-hunger-for-the-fast/

PrayTell post on medieval Book of Hours available for viewing online

Not much I'm offering but a link over there, but here it is anyway.

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2010/01/25/catherine-of-cleves-prayerbook-available-online/

My first post on PrayTell

The “Santa vigil” and principles for engaging young Christians in liturgy

Is this a good way to let you all know I've made a post over there, or would you rather I remained silent?

New liturgy blog organized by Liturgical Press

I thought it best to announce here my presence on a brand-new liturgy blog, Pray Tell. The blog is cosponsored by St John's School of Theology • Seminary and Liturgical Press.

The blog is intended to be a moderate blog on the liturgy whose contributors are well-informed of liturgical history, theory, and practice. It is inspired by the liturgical movement and by St John's place in that movement. I do not know what it will eventually become, but I invite you to come share in its becoming and find out.

A thought on copyright protection

You all know I'm interested in copyright and its limitations.

Every semester I end up asking students if I can use their papers, essays, or assignments as an example for my future classes. Almost every time, they agree wholeheartedly but choose to be anonymous.

I think it's interesting that they are more interested in contributing to the common good (and in the affirmation of their work that it entails) than they are in getting credit for it. This also means that no one has to feel singled out or embarrassed. Ideally, at least.

The primary motivation for creative work is to find readers for that creative work.

Picture interlude

Some great new pictures of the kids.

They went as Boowa and Kwala (kinda) for Halloween. Boowa and Kwala are from Thomas's favorite website. Julie pulled off her Kwala ears almost immediately, so she's really just a duck, but Thomas still thought she was Kwala.

Leaves are, apparently, amazing.

Full length of Julie's cute new dress.

Love.

After all that, this is no wonder.

Immunology for three year olds

Friday I had to take Thomas to a doctor in the twin cities. The ped specialty clinic there (where he goes for cardiology) was offering H1N1 vaccine for very high risk patients, so we were fortuitously able to get it. Unfortunately, Matt had reassured Thomas that this doctor visit would not include shots, so I had to explain to him why exactly we were getting one after all. I suppose I could have resorted to bribery, trickery, or because-I-said-so, but instead I decided to try science.

Not just science, of course. Science and storytelling.

"Well, did you know you have these munchy-munch cells in your body that like to eat germs?"

With seasonal monster impressions, I acted out the mission of these cells -- a term we conveniently left undefined, as I'm not sure Thomas is ready for cell theory -- to find all the cells in the body that are Not Thomas. When they find a cell that's Not Thomas, they know it's a germ, so they gobble it right up -- nom nom nom nom. But sometimes these cells need a little help knowing what kind of cells they're looking for, so we have medicine that gives them a heads-up about new germs that they might need to eat.

He was so enchanted by this cool fairy tale going on inside his body that he first declared that his shot "didn't hurt at all anymore," then clarified by stating that it was still working. We ended up play-acting germ-eating cells at Pizza Hut with a puppet I improvised out of a treat bag and his candy that he got that evening. (Puppet asks: "is this a germ?" Thomas says, squeaking with half-joking, half-real indignation, "No! That's my candy!" "Are you sure -- nom nom nom..." Squealing giggles.) I think half the kids in the restaurant were either covertly or overtly watching this. So now I know how to explain the rest of his vaccines. Too bad it won't work on Julie yet.

Unfortunately, Thomas woke up today with a fever. I hope we didn't get that flu shot just a bit too late!

When I explain to Thomas these days, I'm astounded by how much he already knows. I already feel like we're just "filling in the gaps" -- we're grouting, not tiling, in his surface of world-knowledge. He can pull out relevant detail to fill in absolutely everything we try to tell him about, either from his real-life experience or from books. Amazing.

Happy birthday?

My birthday is such an ambivalent experience. Every year it's full of fragmented, terrible, involuntary memories of that day that I almost lost my son. Moments when I almost made the wrong decision -- the things that could have happened. The light I accidentally ran on the way to the hospital (did this make the difference?) -- guilt over the moments before I realized there was something wrong (how could I have taken him out to breakfast?) -- the conversation with Matt about the hospital -- the deep embarrassment that I was surely overreacting -- the terror of the trauma room -- the dimly remembered days of uncertainty -- my hands, strangely empty without him, on the back of the cold pews in the church down the street from the hospital. The taste of fear.

I can't quite escape it even now. I felt guilty about leaving Julie at day care today. Even though I know she is fine, I am irrationally worried about her. She wore the same coat to school that Thomas wore to the hospital three years ago. We have unseasonable cold weather just like that day. I shouldn't have let her out of my sight.

That way lies madness, and I know tomorrow will be fine.

Turning 30 doesn't make me feel any older. It's that 27th birthday that is still aging me.

Baby days

Julie's growing up so fast that sometimes it feels like her babyhood is slipping away -- or falling off, maybe, shed like skin. Just in the past couple weeks she's started creeping, getting on her hands and knees, and rocking. She's fascinated by everything and can play happily with almost anything for 20, 30 minutes. Tonight she sat in her high chair while I sang her nursery rhymes and cleaned the kitchen. I put coins and tiny toys in 3 of her hospital 2.5 oz bottles and let her shake them and throw them on the floor. I was putting the dishes away, singing,

"Thomas put the kettle on,
Thomas put the kettle on,
Thomas put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.

"Julie take it off again,
Julie take it off again,
Julie take it off again,
They've all gone away."

Every time I got to her name, she'd look up and grin at me. Thomas, meanwhile, (who by the way is in love with this version of Mother Goose, and has some surprising favorites, including the above rhyme, undoctored (and further by the way the Old Mother Hubbard rhyme in that book has some chokingly funny art)) is taking a bath. He's practicing for upcoming swim lessons, trying to put his whole face underwater even though he's always been terrified of water on his face. He's missing the song, but he makes it out to play Julie's game with her, picking up the impromptu rattles every time she drops them.

Julie has a favorite bedtime book now too -- it's Bear Snores On, one of Thomas's all-time toddler favorites (good gift, godparents!). Sometimes all three of us sit in the rocking chair together and read it; sometimes it's just me and Julie while Thomas is in his own room having his own nighttime ritual. The poetry of Bear Snores On has always made it one of my favorites, and there are a couple of points that already make Julie giggle out loud, as she's patting the book, hard, with two hands, in that "doesn't know quite how to make the individual digits move separately" way she'll lose so soon.

After this book and a song, she'll often go right to sleep on her own -- a feat Thomas still has only replicated a few times. They're so different!

In food, too, Julie's "infant days" seem to be ending. She eats lots of foods now. She's funny in that a few times she's eaten a whole bowl of food, while making a weird "ehh" face at every bite. So far she's had apples (yes, delicate pink!), sweet potatoes, pears, and a little bit of peaches, as well as cereal. I also have some local beets and green beans frozen, even though she probably won't be ready for those foods for another month.

One thing we never thought to do with Thomas was to give him Cheerios to play with while we ate long before he was able to actually pick them up. We've been doing this with Julie and she's hilarious -- through incredible, diligent, and constant effort, she usually manages to grasp one between her finger and thumb over the course of our meal. Then she brings it up in front of her face and stares at it, puzzled. She will furrow her brows a bit, as if she's wondering why she's done this, and then painstakingly move her hand off the high chair tray, and drop the Cheerio on the floor, where Paci has been patiently waiting. Julie seems to think that this is her task and the purpose of all these Cheerios, like isn't it nice of mom to let me give Paci all this dog food. She has not once tried to put a Cheerio in her mouth.

Speaking of which, the other thing fun about this stage is that we have finally achieved fully mutual dog-baby adoration and fascination. Julie watches Paci constantly, and intermittently tries to follow her (unsuccessfully, but not for long). She's also learned the trick -- and if you're a microbe-phobe, you may want to skip this sentence -- of smearing her hand in her food and holding it down for Paci to lick.

Today while I was sorting things in Julie's room she was playing on the floor and managed to rock, roll, and creep her way to an adamantly not-baby-friendly box of stuff. Catch-all box, one of those ones full of things I don't need but haven't made time to sort and throw out. I was right next to her, so waited to see what she'd do with the stuff. First, pencils. I've never seen so much excitement about pencils. Did you know you can hold them at this end? And that end! And you can wave them. And roll them on the floor. And scrape with them. And turn them around and around. And -- hey, this box makes a nice noise when I shake it. What are all those shiny things in there? I'm going to get one out. Got -- no, it's -- well, this is good enough; what is this thing?

She took things out of the box and put them back, never tiring of the rattling sound it all made, until I was sick of cleaning the room and took her with me to find out what was happening downstairs.

And all this happened today.